There is normally a quote that says comparison is the thief of joy. But the reality is that there are people who are thieves for joy, and I find that far more dangerous.

It sounds silly, Joy is a self-sustaining resource; it is a personal representation of an emotion. How can that intangible resource be taken or dirtied if it cannot be held or sensed? It takes an outside, indeterminate force to chip away and deface that “Thing”. Along the way you are bound to hear the following as it is being tattered.

• “Well that’s stupid.”
• “Who would ever want to do that.”
• “Been there, done that, so why even bother.”
• “Wow! What a complete waste of time.”
• “And… so what? Who cares?”

The tell is in the last point. Who cares? First of all, you care. That is enough to have and care for that Joy. Secondly, they don’t care, and that makes the Joy more glorious than before. It is an honest treasure: a gem that shines just right when fellow Joy Finders see it the way you do. Joy that does no harm and instead adds to the beauty of life is precious, best to be preserved in an obviously hidden spot.

But the thieves keep creeping in: under your nose, in the dark, even behind closed doors.

• “Well maybe you should waste your time else where.”
• “Right, and how does that pay the bills?”
• “Why bother if its just going into the trash?”
• “Not like it matters anyway.”
• “Sure, if you want to throw your life away.”
• “Just shut up and go to the bar, like everyone else does.”

The creative sphere is surprisingly filled with Joy Keepers and Takers, at times intermingling with a gatekeeping mindset. It is heartbreaking to see over and over again how people are pushed out of the things they love.

For example, the number of multi-talented women of size in acting is still a fraction of those who are seen on stage and screen. Those actresses, who live and breathe the work of Shakespeare, Moliere, Suzan-Lori Parks and more, they are relegated to the eternal “motherly” and “old man” roles with no regards to their aspirations in acting classes. They are continuously ignored because they don’t “fit” the look for years, till they eventually retire, casting their heartbreak all around because it is so painful to lose a part of you.

Musicians can walk in the door and seem equal as they play; but they all picked up instruments differently. Perhaps some had the chance to have private lessons growing up, studied music theory in their own time, went to conservatory, or just listened to songs over and over again till they figured it out themselves. Singers and musicians walk away when the audience dwindles down in favor of whatever is more popular at the moment.

Don’t even poke at the writers, they have grown up with rejection. Also had heard plenty of horror stories of Sylvia Plath and Emily Dickinson variants. It is a draining career that requires a person to have that type of self-sustaining joy and a supportive home.

These are all different archetypes that can be applied to any position: the disenfranchised who fought to be heard; those subject to fluctuations of general public interest and bizarre fates; and those who require a supportive community in order to be successful.

Joy, in this situation, is a desperately precious resource, and hopefully I can suggest a few methods of maintaining that precious piece of you.

Adorning Joy

There is different ways to wear elements of the Joy — but it is most reflective on how you wear your skin and style. From a small tattoo behind the flap of the ear to an ostentatious leather jacket, peppered in old patches, the trick is to scale to your comfort and occasion. This is often a display piece or figurative armor. Sample the following to see what works for you.

• Pins & Broaches – A familiar piece of personality that you can wear and remove. I often keep a broach from a grandmother on standby for days I need to feel more collected and presentable. For job interviews I’m eager to jump into, a nice red jacket with a pin from my old college to make a confident and professional statement with a point of pride on the lapel.
• Bold Staples – If keeping a modular wardrobe or at least a limited selection, then having a few pieces that encompass different types of joys. It helps to have pieces rotated seasonally or every few months, to keep the spark. It’s heavily patterned or super touristy shirt that makes you smile when you find it pushed into the corner of the dresser, or cozy teal button up that you don’t want to leave the closet till you find it.
• Jewelry & Sensory Accessories – May seem obvious, however I think this is an area to be more liberal in definitions. Gems and metal are the usual choices, but there is something magical in finding things that are a bit unusual. Soft leather bracelets may not pinch the skin as often as others. And not to mention what you could find in the hair! Reaching up to find yet another pen in my hair, past the one behind the ear is always a spark of emotion. And let’s bring back flower crowns and clover kisses.
• Body Art – Permanent and Temporary – In terms of adornment, or really ornamentation, tattoos can be as obvious or subtle as one desires. As these are usually ones we want to outwardly display, let your mind wander and travel as it will roam.

Keeping it Close

Joy can be displayed outward, or can be kept close to one’s heart. I may have taken my titling a bit to seriously with “protecting the precious”, however that Lord of the Rings reference feels apt. Sometimes the thing that we are carrying is to precious to always share. Wither it is an issue of it being weathered down by the elements, kept away from prying and envious eyes, this Joy can lose its effect on you if always on display.

While fashion choices are still good choices, there are still more options to explore.

• Close to Chest – This is my nerdy preference at times, to keep an additional long necklace with a ring or pretty gem of note right by the heart. It is simple and unassuming. Some may prefer pendents of saints or a mantra. They all serve as a physical reminder, a token to which fingers press in order to activate a small reflective meditation during a busy day. For others, there is the joy in temporary tattoos, especially ones that are hand-drawn. Here are examples of freehand tattoo markers. When the need for a discrete and transient reminder arises, try adding something healthier than a Bic pen to the skin.
• Closed in Pocket – In a time where fidget tools are ubiquitous, this is a wonderful time to experiment with what works best for you. Rubbing stones, lucky penny, a notable rock from a memorable trip, or your own quilled paper with a quote or reminder on it. Again, this is playing on the idea of grounding yourself during the day. You are giving yourself little doses of relief to stay hopeful in difficult situations.
• Close to Body – I’m not saying that we should all carry around a security blanket, but Linus from the Peanuts, was onto something. If there was one thing you would carry with you that brought you joy, what would it be? While there are many instances of soldiers carrying images of their sweethearts, there is a good number of love notes stashed away from the elements of the world. Bags carry more than just average necessities; they hold what we hold precious at that point in time. Pictures, small notebooks, a favorite pen, those choices are yours to make.

It can be easy to get lost in the minute decisions, fidgeting with things just so till we walk back into the world. But details can also distract from moving forward and actually accomplishing your goals. This is why ultimately, the best way to keep Joy, is to look and move upward and onward.

Joy is Hope in Motion

I have spent a significant amount of my life trying to get, keep, and maintain Joy because I learned that the world was able to sweep it away in a matter of seconds. Holding hands with a friend down the hallway, met with mocking laughter. Handcrafted valentine crafted the night before, leading to a witch-hunt down a hallway, boys interrogating how each girl spells ‘anonymous’. Offers for dates fake, dances being sold without consent. Always a point of spectacle even when I planned my days carefully.

Clothes were armor, deigned by the levels of anxiety. Peace came from self-mastery to practice martial arts when I could, violin in those same cracks of time. The only words I allowed were ones of hope — hope that someone was listening, paying attention and not just laughing at me.

Dancing was a safe medium between music and martial arts — trusting bodily intuition, understanding that each move can be filled with meaning and intent. It became an impassioned form of self-expression, never quite learning how to work with and lead others. But instead burned in defiance of anyone who tried to contain me. Theater was a culmination of hope. It was sliding off the years of speech therapy, dental work, and constant mumbling. Through acting I learned the weight of words, to hold space for others.

The Joy thieves expect that Joy is something that can be removed once and tossed away. What they don’t realize is that it is about staying curious, maintaining humbleness, and being ready to share. And that seems to be part of the key of turning Joy into a sustainable resource. You are creating Joy by staying hopeful that there is more to learn; that being open and willing to listen to others will make a difference. And to invite Joy into your life means to leave the door open for others who are trying to find solace.

Help others find that Joy while they try to rebuild their supply: share their projects on social media, celebrate their small wins by being vocal about your enthusiasm, contribute to their campaigns or Patreon. Give others the fuel of Hope so that they can continue to develop and sustain their Joy.

Because when it feels like the world is against you, it means the world to the hopeful artist to have a community that fills them with Joy.

Check on your fellow precious Joy Keepers, for we are stronger when we work together.

© Sarah C Clark, Enchanted Domain 2024. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah C Clark and The Enchanted Domain with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.