Narcissists leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
What starts sweet on your tongue grows sour,
a clawing taste that melds into the muscle
difficult to pry out lest you rip your own skin off.
They gradually take childhood memories,
mock them as stupid ideas and pathetic attempts
of self-grandeur and self-importance.
They take teenage angst and tears
pitting your challenges to theirs,
and how dare you say that they grew up
do you think that they wanted that?
It’s a roller coaster of emotion as they
guilt trip you out of your own experience
because their experience trumps yours.
They piss on your college stories, always one up,
always finding perfect put downs
that make you question if that ex was right.
They chase your childhood friends away
with nasty claims of prejudice and ridicule.
They push your family away, claiming
it’s for your own good. Even though
you don’t know what’s good for you.
Tenuous college friends scatter,
as the newest threads are the easiest to tatter.
Till you see your life in shreds
and any encounter with a familiar face
is filled with the painful drive to make amends.
But nothing ever really heals quite right.
Not after the narcissist drives and wrecks
your self-esteem and confidence.

But healing eventually comes along.

Healing

becomes a curious pathway,
a long winding trail back
to some random door you somehow left open;
now a different entrance where you are greeted
by backsides and backward facing friends
who are among the first to see your re-arrival.
But there still

is

nerve wrecking anxiety as you pass out hellos,
reintroduce yourself. And no one quite looks the same,
perhaps there are still shadows and glimmer
of the one who stole your joy.
Time is

irregular.

But so is healing,
so make the most of this most precious,
fabulous life by sweeping back in
to living arms wide, heart open
once again for there is little time to waste
on letting the precious family and friends
escape the oncoming wave
of unrelenting, ever growing love
that now flows more freely than before.

© Enchanted Domain, Sarah C Clark 2023 -2024