I think it’s time that we finally be honest about the one, singular truth about writing that we keep ignoring. The more we ignore it, the harder it will be to grow as a writer.

I am haunted by the adage, “It’s easier to lead a horse to water, than to make it drink.” Before, it just made sense by itself. Maybe the horse is tired, not thirsty, or maybe near dead. It does not have in it’s head “Water? Well I think I can have a small drink.” No, the horse does not need to think that, because it already knows that it needs something else. And we need to accept that writing is another water source that we can not push people into.

You can give someone your writing, but you can’t make them read.

Wouldn’t it be easy to gift a family member or loved one this cherished manuscript that you pieced together yourself? That they can simply delight in it like a painting or other craft. That would be a dream, but that that is all that can ever be: a dream.

To be blunt: reading is not a need. In fact, reading tastes are more personal than we realize, so to drop a manuscript in front of a friend is a meaningless action. “Follow up” becomes a euphemism for harassment and guilt-tripping. Are you sending texts with, “U read it yet?” Maybe slipping manuscript pieces under their door, barraging mailboxes and DMs with loaded messages?

Friend. Stop it.
Literally, no one asked.

In trying to pursue a captive audience, you have instead cornered an unwilling participant and manipulated them into giving you pleasing commentary, just so you leave them alone. I don’t care if you are an acclaimed doctor, dreamy professor, or whatever writing archetype you happen to inhibit. This is an insidious part of the writing world, to the point the public cringes at the sound of “Oh, I’m a writer.” They don’t care about the length or flowery language. It’s just a meaningless paper paperweight.

Intention Matters

To be read, we instead need to learn the business of reading and writing. We must ask the following:

• Who is the ideal audience?
• Where would you publish – do you know your genre and tone?
• What types of resources can be found locally or online?
• How are you developing your writing community?

Will these take time to answer, and effort to craft? Absolutely, but the time and effort you put into this will save a lot of heartache and your relationships. By determining the life of your writing outside of your sphere, you can focus energy into writing relationships where it can be experienced properly.

Who is the Ideal Audience?

Take a moment, and indulge in that dream one more time. Let’s say you’ve hit it big: a table at a convention, velvet ropes leading up to your equally elegant display of books and tokens; your favorite pen at the ready for another signing. Then THEY approach – the fan who lights up when you turn toward them.

Before you speak, they stumble ahead, “Really, I should be thanking you. Your work inspired me to …” You’re caught off guard, and long after the event, you still think of that ONE person and their story.

Your Ideal Audience is more than an flight of the imagination; they are a person, if not the exact type of person you wish to inspire. It is a mixture of understanding their possible background and motivations, the direction you hope they take, and the hope of who or what they wish to accomplish after. If the goal of art is to get a reaction, then you must know what type of reaction you hope to elicit. By starting with this, you learn how to target your writing samples.

Where Would You Publish

Now return from fantasy and look at your manuscript. Like, really look at it, perhaps fanned out around you to provide some distance to avoid nitpicking.

What have you surrounded yourself with? There is a difference between a gritty noir supernatural novel and a dark erotic supernatural novel. These details matter because publishers can have very distinct brands. The authors they represent do have their own identities, but culminate into a cohesive ensemble.

This is why it’s so important to keep reading what you’re interested in writing: know the competition, for they know exactly where to show up. You can’t fight a battle if you can’t find the battlefield._{Also you’d look ridiculous.} Pinpoint your work’s identity, find similar writers, then research the publishers or publishing houses they frequent. At this point, we are gathering information, not sending out uninvited manuscripts.

A fun side effect of this exercise is that you have the vocabulary to craft an elevator pitch. Though my definition is much shorter, as I expect the fellow occupant to hit the “Open” button the moment I utter, “Hey, would you read a book about…” Do make sure the doors fully close before you start though.

What Resources? What Community?!

Thankfully we do not live in a vacuum, even though the internet makes the world infinitely larger. But do not be deceived, and have hope! Combining the resources found online and foraged locally, you can develop the best type of resource a writer requires: relationships.

I’ve established a long time ago, that writing in an inherently lonely pursuit. It involves sitting down and phasing out the world around you. So the best resources are fellow writers and those who enable them.

Online this looks straight forward. Use your favorite search engine and use a mix of keywords. You’ll find a myriad of sources with just “writing tips”, however we want that elusive proofreader or writing buddy. Instead, use “forum” or “board” for an established community that requires an email and account. I have also heard of communities being built on SubStack and other team management platforms, so check all your social media to find links to open groups. If you are involved in fandoms or other tight-knit circles online, look for a Discord server. If you happen to have money you’re willing to pull out, there are freelancers on Fivvr and Reedsy who will do quality work.

You will be surprised what you find locally. Libraries are not just a wealth of information, I have found most librarians to be literary creatives themselves. Those types of librarians know where to search, have suggestions or favorite local writing groups. Some already host a writing club and/or workshops open to the whole community.

Another fantastic human resource are teachers. Granted, most of the time they are exhausted from a demanding profession, but these are usually passionate individuals. If they or someone close to them is an avid writer, then they might share their writing community with you. Remember, they are also human, so respect their writing time as sacred. Their energy levels can fluctuate, but they are tend to thrive on sharing passion.

If you find it difficult to locate such individuals, it never hurts to return to the search engine. Add your region, state, town, and county to “writers society” or “writing workshops”. Specificity is best and can unearth some surprising results.

Reciprocity is the ultimate secret to a healthy writers’ relationship. If you want them to read your writing, you need to be ready and eager to read theirs. Humble yourself and be ready to learn from others; everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, thus can provide individual critique. Be honest, inquisitive and you can grow a thoughtful relationship with these writers

I Can’t Make You Stop

Ultimately I can’t make you find a group, study competition, or to dream your ideal reader. The best I can do is make you think.

For all I know, you will keep handing out your manuscript as an office Christmas present. Or passing it out to patients who “just happen to be in the field”. I can’t make you build friendships with writers or break relationships with tired relatives.

You must take a proactive approach to being a writer, and that requires you to think about where you are putting your time and energy. This current path is slowing you down, you are the one making yourself feel rejected and lonely.

Be mindful of your support system, because you are already burning them out. Pause, breathe, and redirect yourself to the best possible situation. Think about what you are trying to accomplish, then make the choices appropriate to become a successful writer.